Backstory: My crazy idea to be a surrogate

For those I know in-real-life, this will be a complete shock; but for my nestie friends this is the back story....

I work with a woman; I will call her "Eve". I have been friends with her for the two years I have worked here and she has confided in me about her struggles. Her and her husband were married when she was only 18, and have been trying to have children of their own since (she is now 41). At 22, they were referred to an infertility specialist who would not take her seriously. In the past 23 years, they have spent tens of thousands of dollars on injections, medication, procedures, IUIs, IVF only to have to go through the heartbreak of nearly a dozen miscarriages.

Five years ago, they began to very seriously consider adoption. At first, they went through local agencies hoping to be able to finally bring home their child. After 2 mothers changed their minds, they began to explore international adoption too. They have been on a waiting list for Chinese adoption for 4 years. They have to renew their application annually; which is very expensive in itself. Yet, they are no closer to having a child of their own.

In 2010, the husband's sister was diagnosed with cancer and given only a very short time to live. Rather than have her in hospitals and hospice during the last month of her life, they brought her into their home and cared for her until she passed. During this same time, adoption #3 had just fallen through.

This year, I was blessed with finally being pregnant; and although I was thrilled, I was scared to death to tell her. Before, I too had been hurt by other's BFP announcements; I could not and would not do that to her. One day, around my 6th week she approached me. She knew about my IF struggles and wanted to recommend a wonderful doctor. I did not have the heart to lie so I told her the truth. I knew it would hurt, but I would be more hurt myself if someone were to lie to me.

When we found out there was a problem, she was there for me. She would call/text me, and help me fend off questions at work. She helped with me workload when I took a week off and dealt with my supervisor. Unbeknownst to me, at this same time she was helping me in every way that she could, they were in the process of another adoption. The week of my surgery, the mother once again changed her mind; failed adoption #4.

That next week, she was a mess. She told me that she had been prescribed Zanax to help her cope with everything, but admitted to taking too much. She told me that the weekend before, she had seriously considered harming herself because she feels as though God is punishing her. Without causing alarm, I sifted through her emergency contacts and found her husband’s number. I called him to let him know that I was very concerned about her and was sure that he understood the seriousness of her depression. That night, she nearly overdosed by mixing her Xanax with hydrocodon (sp?) causing her blood pressure to skyrocket. Her husband has since been closely monitoring her medication and I have recommended my therapist to her who specializes in IF, and has gone through failed adoptions herself.  Lastly, last week her sister was in a terrible car accident and is currently in a coma in the ICU with severe brain damage.

I was so upset with God for having gone through my miscarriage, but I started to find meaning in my loss that week. Eve finally had someone she could talk to, someone who could understand her losses, IF and struggles. My miscarriage gave her the companionship and understanding that no one else could.

I cannot imagine going through half of the issues she has dealt with in her life; let alone concurrently. So, being that I feel as though I have a calling to do something miraculous and remarkable, I am seriously considering offering to be a surrogate for this family. They are wonderful, loving people who have given everything to be there for others in need; but have gone to hell and back in their own lives.