U/S Update

I went in today for my follow up u/s (CD14). I was plesantly surprised to see that I have one mature follie at 17mm, albeit disappointed that our timing is undoubtedly off since Mr.A left today to go out of town. This weekend was critical, and left much to be desired.

If I don't ovulate before then, I will be triggering in the morning and praying for a miracle once again.

Cycle 30

I’ve been having a really difficult time dealing with our last failed cycle. It is science people, how could it not work!?

Originally, we decided to take a month off for a little physical, mental and emotional respite, but then I received my benefits packet from my new employer. Although I don’t qualify for benefits until May 1, apparently I have to elect my benefits between Mar 1 and April 1. This means that the cycle I am in now is the only cycle I have left before I have to make the decision on whether or not to enroll in this very expensive coverage through my employer.

That said, we decided to do a bit of monitoring and possibly Ovidrel again this cycle. I went in yesterday for my CD11 u/s. My largest follie was only 10mm and they want me to come back on Sunday for a repeat. My insurance changed to Mr.A’s this month and it is not covering any part of the  ovidrel prescription. I am not certain whether or not it is going to cover the u/s either, so I am a bit leery about having another one done this weekend. At this point, I haven’t decided what to do….. I am waiting for the nurse to call and hopefully figure it all out.

In addition, guess which klutz hooked her boot heal inside of her pants hem and tumbled down about 10 (industrial, metal/concrete) steps inside of the hospital garage. ME! That was on my way to the RE appointment. I banged up my shoulder, tailbone, and knee, have bruising on my arm, elbow and shin, and scraped my arm and hand.  Today, I hurt; I feel like I was in a car accident.

Answers .... FINALLY!!

We received the results from my insanely expensive (17 vials worth) of blood work I had tested about a month ago. Guess what? They finally found something wrong with me!! Most people would be sad that something is wrong. Not me! I’ve known something was wrong, but no doctor has even been able to determine what. They did a very specific test for Anti-Thyroglobulin Antibody. Normal levels are below .4 and mine were 1.7 (more than 4 times normal). This has been linked very closely with infertility. Women with high levels of anti-thyroglobulin antibody who are trying to become pregnant can miscarry or be infertile. Anti-thyroglobulin antibody can interfere with implantation of the embryo in the uterus.

They are putting me on a medicine called Synthroid immediately at 25mcg. I do not know how long it takes for the medication to take effect to help prevent all of the things my body is apparently doing wrong, but am hoping that this little pill will be the answer to my prayers and fix my broken body!  

TODAY.SUCKS : SKCUS.YADOT

Exactly one year ago today, we knew for certain that we had lost our baby and I went in for surgery. I was shaking; terrified that I was making the wrong decision, trying to cling to the hope that maybe the doctors were wrong.

About a month ago, I began a new cycle. It was the first medicated cycle with oral medicines, injections, suppositories, plus baby aspirin, and progesterone after ovulation. Everything went perfectly. I responded to medications, timing was perfect; I even gave up caffeine and alcohol because I KNEW this was it. My magical, miracle cycle.

I waited patiently for 13 days after giving myself the trigger; 12DPO. I love even numbers, and my test date was all even [another *positive* sign]. Last night, I couldn’t sleep and when I did, I had dreams of a glaringly positive test a growing belly, and a happy family.

I finally got up to test this morning. I used a cheap test, since I’ve found it is actually the most sensitive. I didn’t wait more than a minute, before I decided that I would also use one of my digitals. Now, I’ve only ever used digitals when I am *positive* that I am pregnant; therefore, they have only ever said “pregnant”. Not this one.

I crawled back into bed in the small space between Mr.A and the edge of the bed and sobbed uncontrollably. At first, he probably couldn’t tell if it was a good thing or a bad thing; since anymore I cry over everything. But he figured it out pretty quickly when I said, “I was so sure….it just isn’t fair”.

Psychics – was she right?

If you recall, back in September I contacted a psychic. She told me that I would either get pregnant in September or October of 2011, or give birth in September or October of 2012. I did get pregnant in September of 2011, and found out in October of 2011; but we lost the baby. I am praying that she gave both dates because it is possible that I am going to get pregnant this cycle, and have the baby(ies) in September or October of this year.

Only time will tell.

I've been shot

We began treatment this cycle (including injections). Last May my doctor at the time, prescribed 50mg of Clomid, and I overstimulated.  Therefore, I began 25mg of Clomid on CD3; half the lowest normal dose.

I began to have pretty significant cramping on CD5-8, and ended up going in for my CD10 ultrasound (u/s) on day 9. On day 9, I had one mature follicle, and two nearly mature follies (measurements: one 17 and two 15s). The doctor gave me the choice of taking my Ovidrel trigger injection on Friday evening, and only having the one mature follicle, or waiting until Saturday morning and potentially having three.

Although the thought of triplets is a bit overwhelming, we opted to wait until Saturday morning. Our thought was, with our history the chances of having all three follicles release eggs, have all eggs mature and fertilize, have all three implant and survive were extremely unlikely. However by waiting, we figured that it would give us three chances for success this cycle and also the possibility of multiples which we would welcome with open arms.  

We woke up Saturday morning and I got the shot out of the refrigerator. The needle wasn’t that big, but it was still scary. Mr.A ended up giving me the shot about 2-3 inches below my bellybutton. In case you aren’t familiar with trigger injections, they have HCG in the injection which gives your body a signal much like that when your LH is surging, causing you to ovulate. HCG is also what increases in your body when you are pregnant. Therefore, after taking the injection, you will test positive on pregnancy tests for 5-6 days. I promised Mr.A I wouldn’t test, although seeing those two lines would be really nice, obviously it isn’t real. A lot of women will “test out their trigger”, meaning they will test daily until negative, knowing that the result on day 10-11-12-13 are true positives, and not remaining HCG from the injection.   

Per my doctor’s orders, I will be beginning my 200mg three times daily of progesterone tomorrow evening, as well as beginning my regime of 80mg of baby aspirin; these are in addition to the 4mg of folic acid and prenatal vitamins that I am already taking daily. We will wait to test until 2/10. February 10^th will either be a very depressing day, or bittersweet; it will be exactly one year since my surgery.  

If by some miracle I do get pregnant this cycle, I will begin injections to better control my bodies clotting tendencies immediately following the +test, and will be very closely monitored throughout the first trimester.

I am both terrified and excited; praying for a miracle. 

Bad Blogger – can I make it up to you?

Wow, I’ve been a very bad blogger this last month. I am sorry for the lack of updates.

It was such a relief leaving 2011 behind, but the end was very busy. I (of course) was traveling for work, wrapping up my projects and delegating tasks, preparing for my New Year’s visitors and anxiously awaiting the beginning of my new career.

2012 began:  My closest family was here, I bid adieu to my traveling career and began my new career with the promise of change and challenge. I’ve just completed my third week at the new company. Thus far, I love it. The company is focused on positive change within their company, their employees and the world. They have an entire department focused solely on charitable giving and they match employees’ donations to charity (to a specified amount per employee). They have counselors within HR that help you determine your career path, and help you to achieve your goals.

Although there are a few things that may need to change to make the company leaner, they seem to do a pretty phenomenal job right now on most everything else.

In addition to my professional life, my personal life has had some pretty significant changes. Cycle 28 was a bust; no surprise there. I was out of town during the key points of the cycle, and didn’t expect a miracle or immaculate conception.  However, after that, we decided to move forward with treatment; something we’ve put off time and time again.

We met with the RE on the second day of my cycle, went over test results, her concerns, opinions, and then set a path forward. The results were all great. All of my tests, aside from the MTHFR, came back negative, and Mr.As swimmers are of excellent quantity and quality. She said that since we have been able to conceive naturally twice in two years, she isn’t overly concerned with getting me pregnant, just keeping me pregnant. She has a suspicion that my losses are related to my blood clotting when the baby attached to my blood supply, cutting off its life source. 

After our discussions, we decided on a path forward and are moving forward with treatement.