Life Stress

Generally, I handle stress and challenge well. I am always up for proving others wrong, especially in my work. I work in a male dominated profession and have come to be a trusted advisor on nearly everything within our project. I am hundreds of miles away from my main office and work as a sole person in a "satellite" office. Within this career, I have hit the highest of highs when I reach my own professional goals, and the lowest of lows when I have been continually put down and under appreciated by my company.

I finally realized that the stressors accompanying my lows, in addition to my failed TTC journey within my personal life was making me bitter, resentful and very down. I consider myself to be a strong person, but there was a point a month or so ago that I really felt as though my entire life was falling apart. It was then I decided that it was time to see someone, a professional to talk to.

I found my LCSW through my insurance; she specializes in infertility, occupational stress and marriage/family counselling; all things that I wanted to talk about. Through our sessions she has brought my subconscious to the forefront and has helped me determine my failed coping skills and create new and better ways to cope with my stress and TTC anxiety.

Ironically, after I started seeing her and talking about the stressors in my life; things [at work] started to change. I received an award through my company for Outstanding Service, and a bonus. Then last week I had my review, receiving top marks and a raise. None of this had ever happened before, which was why I felt so under appreciated and down about my work.

I want to be sure you know that I love my work. For the last couple of years, I have only been able to get through the other life challenges through my work and it really hurt me to know that my company did not appreciate me. Now that I realize that my company is starting to recognize me and the fact that I love my job/work; I am sitting here at a cross road. I cannot be super-worker, able to travel at the drop of a dime, committed to my work and mission 100% if I become a mom. I know that my priorities will flip 180 degrees and I want to be able to be super Mom. For a while, I said I would do this job, save money then take off for 3-5 years and be a SAHM. Now, I am not so sure.