RE Appointment

First, I am writing this entry from my phone so please excuse any swype-o's (typos where my phone's swype dictionary picks the wrong word). So Mr.A and I went to see Dr.M today who is a Reproductive Endocrinologist (RE). I made this appointment almost two weeks ago, and let me tell you, this TWW was longer than the monthly TWW.

Over the last two weeks my mind has been running wild with "what if" scenarios ranging from the over dramatic, "what if we can't have kids", to the "what if it's me", and don't forget the "what if something if seriously wrong and one of us needs treatment or worse surgery". Dramatic? Yes. Possible? Yes.

So we meet with Dr.M who is male and reminds me of Mr.A's best man. We give him the normal rundown; off BCPs for 17 months with no protection, charting 15 months and timing intercourse for 12. He did an internal ultrasound showing me my ovaries, uterus and measured the large follicle on the left at 17by12mm (averaging 15mm) on CD11.

He leaves, I get dressed then he returns. He says "I have good news and bad news." We sit there silently. He says, "From what I can see things look relatively normal. But you're infertile". What a blow! I mean yes, after this long I know I am technically "infertile", but the way he said it; without a hint of sympathy cut me to the core.

He said that my ovaries are small, but that they are producing eggs. He was very concerned about my late ovulation even though it is consistent every cycle. He said my lining was very thin for CD11 and that if I could concieve it would most likely not be able to implant. He said its consistently poor ovulation. He checked my thyroid and thought it felt odd and said if I am not pregnant in the next few months that he would like to check my levels again. He said that he can tell that I have some fertility issues but would also like Mr.A to have a semen analysis done just to rule it out.

He prescribed Clomid for the next three months for CDs 3-8 and said that if I wanted close monitoring that we could or we could just see what happens. He explained the next steps after a few months of clomid including IUI and triggering.

We left with me down in the dumps. Mr.A is so optimistic and doesn't understand why I am so down. Really we didn't get any bad news during this appointment. I guess its just hard to know that the problem is me; even if its not a serious issue. So begining in January I will start taking Clomid and see what happens.