2011 - A Recap

The holidays are hitting me hard this year. We have so much to be thankful for, yet I find myself envious of nearly everyone around me.  Many of the women who I began this journey with 2.5 years ago are pregnant with their second child. But, the world moves on, with or without me, so I suck it up. It is all I can do. I try to keep my mind occupied with decorating, renovating and most recently planning our New Years Eve Party. However, I seem to forget that we are hours and hours away from our families and friends, and they've got their own commitments.


This just reminds me that every now and again, I need to make a list of everything we have to be thankful for to remind myself that life really is good.


This year, we may have even more to be thankful for. Of course our love for one another, health, our jobs, our families and friends.  I am beginning a new job that I think will be amazing, a short commute and has stupendous benefits including IF coverage. Mr. A landed his dream of all dream jobs. We were able to sell our first house when we moved and purchased a beautiful home and have been able to customize it to our liking. My brother getting married. Mr.As tests all coming back normal.


However, there are the no-so-positives of 2011 to also remember. The loss of two pregnancies. Bearing the load of selling our house and condo, while buying our new house, packing to move all while traveling at nearly 100% for work while Mr.A was away. Moving, again. Not being able to sell the condo then having to replace the water heater, flooring damaged when the water heater went out, and drop the list price to where we will take a considerable loss if we can sell. Knowing that since Mr.A's tests were normal that all the issues with IF lie with me....


All in all, it was most certainly a challenging year. In addition to the normal ups and downs everyone deals with, we've also had to learn to live and deal with IF and pregnancy loss. This is officially our third Christmas since beginning our TTC journey and yet we are still without children that we can hold in our arms. It is troubling. I never thought it would take this long. I never thought it would be this hard. So many people take parenthood for granted, yet to me I fear that I will only ever know my children in my heart.