Our New House!!

The bank accepted our counter-offer (which was going to be my initial offer; I am glad I held off!). Introducing our beautiful new house!!

Family room with built-ins and a wall of windows, plus a slate fireplace.

The brand spanking new kitchen. I don't love the white appliances, but they are new, they work and they will do for now.

Formal dining room. I can't wait to put in wainscoating (sp?) and new, more dramatic paint colors.

This is the master bedroom. It is hard to tell with the photo, but it has a large room plus a small nook off to the side for reading/etc. Love it!

This last photo is actually a small room behind the kitchen, I plan to make it exclusively my craft room until the time comes where it will be a child's play room.

Our current house is too big for us, and its only 3 bedrooms. This one has 4 bedrooms, plus the bonus office space and a formal living room. It has a lot more land then we are used to, 3/4 acre but I am thrilled for our dog to have space to run in the security of a cul de sac, and woods and greenspace around us. We really need to get on the TTC train, I want so badly to fill this home with laughter, and the pitter patter of small feet. ::off to dream land to think of my family in my new house::

Home News...

I have been desperately trying to add curb appeal to my house as well as cleaning up, packing clutter and steam cleaning the carpets. With my insane travel schedule, I was given only two weekends (read: 4 DAYS) to complete all of the outside work plus all of the nitty-gritty inside work.  I am so proud that I was able to do all of the outside work without any help. I nearly had too much pride to ask for help with the inside work, but I sucked it up and asked. My brother came by with his roommate to move some of the heavy things into the garage while I was out of town. My in-laws let me borrow their carpet cleaner and my mother-in-law came by all of Saturday to help scrub the bathrooms, clean the windows, wipe the baseboards, cabinets, appliances, dust, mop and zillions of other things.

I am so proud of how the house looks and I am determined to keep it perfectly clean (nearly sterile) while it is on the market. Photos for your enjoyment.

In addition to getting out home ready for sale, I may or may not have jumped quite a bit ahead and put an offer on a house in the new city. Crazy? Yes. But, it is a beautiful home, in the location we want, in a quiet, secluded neighborhood but close to everything we need (like for me, the airport). I am already so attached and planning what colors I am going to paint the different rooms and how I am going to re-do the shower tiles. We have been offering/counter -offering with the bank for a week now, I am hopeful that we have finally reached the point of agreement. The best part you ask, (other than it being a beautiful home with room to grow, making me want to fill it with children) is that the bank wants to push closing off until the middle of May, giving us a little more time to try to sell our home.

The bad news in my life, since there is always some…I found out my BIL’s wife is pregnant again. Now, don’t get me wrong. I am not a bitter infertile wishing infertility on the world. I thank God for babies; knowing each and every child is a blessing. That being said, this is his 4^th oops child, the third with this wife, ANNDDD it is after he supposedly had a vasectomy.  It was news that brought me to my knees sobbing and cursing God for blessing them with a child they don’t want and cannot afford.

Checking Off My List

I've been home for three days in the last month. In the last three days I have met with a realtor to list our Condo and another to list our house. I packed up Mr.As office clutter, vacuumed the entire house, wiped down baseboards, dusted all the furniture. I dug up a "dead" tree (once I cut it into 4foot sections, I realized it wasn't dead), planted a weeping cherry in it's place, dug up a dead holly bush, planted a new one in it's place, pruned bushes, weeded, planted more than 20 pansies, dug up our Japanese maple to bring with us, stained the fence, mulched, put down more grass seed; all by myself. I did laundry, made an hour long briefing for this week, made travel arrangements for the next few weeks, packed, and went to the library. I still hope to mop, get my nails done, take my dog for a walk, and clean the windows.

Next weekend, I am actually listing the house for sale. So I need to move the old washer and dryer from their temporary storage in the dining room to the garage, paint the ceiling in the garage, and clean clean clean. Wow, I am exhausted just thinking about it.

Backstory: My crazy idea to be a surrogate

For those I know in-real-life, this will be a complete shock; but for my nestie friends this is the back story....

I work with a woman; I will call her "Eve". I have been friends with her for the two years I have worked here and she has confided in me about her struggles. Her and her husband were married when she was only 18, and have been trying to have children of their own since (she is now 41). At 22, they were referred to an infertility specialist who would not take her seriously. In the past 23 years, they have spent tens of thousands of dollars on injections, medication, procedures, IUIs, IVF only to have to go through the heartbreak of nearly a dozen miscarriages.

Five years ago, they began to very seriously consider adoption. At first, they went through local agencies hoping to be able to finally bring home their child. After 2 mothers changed their minds, they began to explore international adoption too. They have been on a waiting list for Chinese adoption for 4 years. They have to renew their application annually; which is very expensive in itself. Yet, they are no closer to having a child of their own.

In 2010, the husband's sister was diagnosed with cancer and given only a very short time to live. Rather than have her in hospitals and hospice during the last month of her life, they brought her into their home and cared for her until she passed. During this same time, adoption #3 had just fallen through.

This year, I was blessed with finally being pregnant; and although I was thrilled, I was scared to death to tell her. Before, I too had been hurt by other's BFP announcements; I could not and would not do that to her. One day, around my 6th week she approached me. She knew about my IF struggles and wanted to recommend a wonderful doctor. I did not have the heart to lie so I told her the truth. I knew it would hurt, but I would be more hurt myself if someone were to lie to me.

When we found out there was a problem, she was there for me. She would call/text me, and help me fend off questions at work. She helped with me workload when I took a week off and dealt with my supervisor. Unbeknownst to me, at this same time she was helping me in every way that she could, they were in the process of another adoption. The week of my surgery, the mother once again changed her mind; failed adoption #4.

That next week, she was a mess. She told me that she had been prescribed Zanax to help her cope with everything, but admitted to taking too much. She told me that the weekend before, she had seriously considered harming herself because she feels as though God is punishing her. Without causing alarm, I sifted through her emergency contacts and found her husband’s number. I called him to let him know that I was very concerned about her and was sure that he understood the seriousness of her depression. That night, she nearly overdosed by mixing her Xanax with hydrocodon (sp?) causing her blood pressure to skyrocket. Her husband has since been closely monitoring her medication and I have recommended my therapist to her who specializes in IF, and has gone through failed adoptions herself.  Lastly, last week her sister was in a terrible car accident and is currently in a coma in the ICU with severe brain damage.

I was so upset with God for having gone through my miscarriage, but I started to find meaning in my loss that week. Eve finally had someone she could talk to, someone who could understand her losses, IF and struggles. My miscarriage gave her the companionship and understanding that no one else could.

I cannot imagine going through half of the issues she has dealt with in her life; let alone concurrently. So, being that I feel as though I have a calling to do something miraculous and remarkable, I am seriously considering offering to be a surrogate for this family. They are wonderful, loving people who have given everything to be there for others in need; but have gone to hell and back in their own lives.

Wow. It's been a while since I last updated. I would apologize, but my life has been more insane than I could have ever imagined.

Last weekend, Mr.A and I visited family and enjoyed our last few days together before he left. Despite my +OPK, we still BIOd. My thought is, it took a year and a half of well timed BIO, before we were successful, what is the likelihood that we would be successful during the only time we should be avoiding?

Mr.A left for his new job training last Sunday. I traveled to Texas for work on Monday. I became the lead for our project, (again my company is too smart to promote me). If they "appoint" me into these roles, they dont have to pay me a cent more. I am flattered, as always, that they trust me in such an important role, but if my "appointments" into Project Lead, Communications Lead, and the role I was originally hired for are not properly addressed and appreciated during my annual review this month, I swear I will go crazy.

I am traveling every week until the middle of April; though I was finally able to convince my boss to allow me to go home on the weekends. I have no idea how I plan to get the house ready to go on the market within the next few weeks. My plan is next week to work on the exterior curb appeal; weeding, a little painting and over all sprucing up. I have asked my Green Thumbed parents to come help, but it looks like I am on my own. I plan to pack up clutter and then hire a maid service for a day for window washing, baseboard wiping, overall a good scrubbing so I can list the house before April.

I think realtors will love the fact that the house is full of furniture, but has no one there to mess it up or to schedule showings around. Here's hoping for a quick, painless experience and sale.

Sorry for the hiatus. I promise I will update more frequently just as soon as I get my head on straight.