Stuck

Today has been absolutely exhausting.  Last night, I drove the 4.5 hours home from my extended family's home, sent out some last minute work emails (at 10:30), quickly packed and went to bed.

This morning my flight out at 6:30am was cancelled, so I drove to a neighboring airport (1.5 hours away) to catch the 10:20. The 10:20 was delayed until 12. The 12 took off, but then connecting airport's runways were closed due to the storm, so we circled for an additional hour and I missed my connection. The only other flight to my destination leaves at 8pm and I will still have a 3.5 hour flight. If all goes as planned, I won't get in until after 11:30 eastern time and I got up much too early this morning.

I wanted to badly to call AniGirl to meet up while I am stuck here for 5 hours, but the thought of going through security again after this hellacious day just turns my stomach. So instead I sit here, exhausted and sad.

Tomorrow's meeting is going to come much too early and I hope my hour and a half briefing goes well; although I am convinced that things couldn't get too much worse at this point.

Edited to add: NEVER ever say the words "it can't get any worse", because it can and according to Murphy's law, it will. I am now on hour 16 sitting on a plane that isn't moving, waiting for a crew member that isn't coming. This is officially the worst travel day I have ever had. At this rate, we won't get in until after 1:30am east coast time. Aaaaaaahhhhh!!!!

My Week

I had a really good week, surprisingly. It was one of those weeks you lose sleep over. There was too much work, travel was long, presentations weren't finished, and expectations were high; all in addition to everything I have going on personally. I was irritable, scatter-brained and stressed beyond belief, but looking back on it now, it was prefect.

I facilitated my first meeting completely on my own. I was trusted to conduct the meeting in my boss's absence, faced my fears and the audience had no idea I was shaking in my heels behind the podium. I kept the audience engaged, kept discussion going and kept everything on schedule. I am so happy that I had the opportunity to go through the stresses that this week caused. It gave me a new perception on what I am doing in life, and what I want for the future.

Also, I received word from the appraiser last week, and our appraisal came in $3,000 less than our contract price. I found out last night that the selling bank is reducing the price AND covering all the required repairs. So our new home will have a brand new HVAC system upstairs, the window and electrical issues will be fixed all while buying the home for substantially less than we wanted to spend.

I have been introduced to the world of cloth diapering from the lovely women on the nest. I am a recycling crazed, waste reducing, eco-conscious woman. Why not carry that philosophy forward to my children?

I began buying my "stash" when I found out we were having a baby. I bought three bumgenius all-in-one 4.0s. I also ordered 2 ecobumz all-in-ones (which I forgot about). On the very emotional day when I had my 4week follow-up with my OB after my surgery, I found my adorable ecobumz diapers in my mailbox. It was a hard day, and the diapers undoubtedly made me sad, but I realized that after my loss the world kept turning and whether or not I was ready to move forward, I needed to look onward towards the future.

Today, for the first time since I was pregnant I found immense joy in looking at cloth diapers. If you are even remotely interested check out this blog (and giveaway).
http://2mommies2be.wordpress.com/2011/04/08/sunny-friday-giveaway/

Life, Love and Everything else

I have been such a bad blogger over the last 6 weeks, I am sorry. I have been so busy and have a lot of updates on life, love and everything else.

Life: is still crazy. The (current) house has somehow remained in nearly “showable” condition since it went on the market a couple of weeks ago. I have had one official showing where the person loved everything except the sloped back yard and the laundry closet; both things I cannot change. Mr.A and I have loved this house so much; I hope that someone comes along who believes the house to be as perfect as we did.

Our condo (that Mr.A bought in college) has been for sale for around 5 weeks. Our renters moved out last weekend and my father and I cleaned and touched it up. We have very aggressive pricing, which in turn is going to cause us to take a significant loss. We have priced it the lowest of similar condos even with the completely renovated kitchen, new laminate flooring, included w/d and fresh paint throughout. I am praying for a quick sale.

The new house is still beautiful, but is losing its luster to me. The inspection report came back with a lot of little things, but also the fact that the furnace and entire HVAC system has been dismantled and is in a state of disrepair. I told my agent that we would walk away if the major safety concerns were not corrected as well as the HVAC; the seller refused. My agent stated that if the appraiser and my financing bank required the HVAC to be fixed for financing the loan that the sellers would fix it. I really needed to think about it. Currently, I have paid $700 out of pocket for this home; $350 for the mortgage application and $350 for the home inspection. I was not prepared to invest another penny into a home appraisal for a home that I might need to walk away from. Lucky for me, the appraisal fee is already included in my initial $350 application fee AND the bank is going to require the HVAC and other safety concerns are corrected in order to make the home “safe and livable” and able to finance.

Love: I finally get to see my H this weekend!!!! When we finally see each other, it will have been nearly 6 weeks since he left. A woman I work with surprised me and set up the hotel with her Marriott hotel points saving me about $300; God bless her!  Leaving my only expenses to be the car rental and gas. He knows that I have been really down recently trying to figure out my future plan with work and family, working on our house, the condo and the new house as well as the frequent travel. I have been so overwhelmed that I am constantly anxious and nearly depressed. He sent me the sweetest love note/card from training that really made me feel better. I cannot wait for him to finish training so that we can begin the next chapter of our lives.

Everything else: I have been working very closely with my work on my options when I move. With the frequency that I travel, I have begged them to just allow me to work from home while I am not traveling. No cigar. Apparently, we have a strict “no telecommuting” policy (that I have yet to see in writing). Their best option at this point is to have me commute 2 hours away into a neighboring state while I am not traveling. While that is better than commuting 3 hours to the corporate office or losing my job entirely, it is going to burn me out quick. I am going to propose that they allow me to work from home Monday and Thursday and I would commute Tuesday and Wednesday therefore allowing me to have at least some time with my husband; we will see how that goes.

I have had two appointments with my OB/GYN since my surgery. She received my records from the RE and asked me to come in for a consult. Apparently my ovaries are polycystic (indicating that I might have PCOS), with my extremely long periods (10-14 days) and slightly longer than normal cycles (32-33 days) she wants to begin monitoring me throughout my cycles even though Mr.A is gone. This way we can figure out my issues and have a plan by the time we move and can start TTCing again. She wants to do CD3 blood work next week, but I will be traveling so I am not sure yet how to make it work. She is concerned that I might have PCOS or even Endometriosis, but hopefully we will know more through the monitoring. Her schedule is constantly booked up, so she scheduled me for a laparoscopic surgery in June before I leave in the case that she believes it is endo.

Lastly, I am really getting frustrated with my neighbors. They are truly my only friends in this lonely city, but I feel as though they take advantage of us. The wife is 25 weeks pregnant now, which in itself is hard for me. The day after my surgery she came over to borrow my H’s truck and ask him for some help around their house since her husband was gone. If roles were reversed, I wouldn’t have even considered asking someone for anything who had gone through IF and had just experienced a loss. Since then, I have watched their dog twice (one week each) with little notice and she is a handful. With everything that I have going on with work, the houses, and personally, I cannot believe that she continues to ask for favors all.the.time. I guess I really need to learn how to say no.

Thanks for reading. I obviously need to update more frequently so I don’t write these outrageously long posts….

Our New House!!

The bank accepted our counter-offer (which was going to be my initial offer; I am glad I held off!). Introducing our beautiful new house!!

Family room with built-ins and a wall of windows, plus a slate fireplace.

The brand spanking new kitchen. I don't love the white appliances, but they are new, they work and they will do for now.

Formal dining room. I can't wait to put in wainscoating (sp?) and new, more dramatic paint colors.

This is the master bedroom. It is hard to tell with the photo, but it has a large room plus a small nook off to the side for reading/etc. Love it!

This last photo is actually a small room behind the kitchen, I plan to make it exclusively my craft room until the time comes where it will be a child's play room.

Our current house is too big for us, and its only 3 bedrooms. This one has 4 bedrooms, plus the bonus office space and a formal living room. It has a lot more land then we are used to, 3/4 acre but I am thrilled for our dog to have space to run in the security of a cul de sac, and woods and greenspace around us. We really need to get on the TTC train, I want so badly to fill this home with laughter, and the pitter patter of small feet. ::off to dream land to think of my family in my new house::

Home News...

I have been desperately trying to add curb appeal to my house as well as cleaning up, packing clutter and steam cleaning the carpets. With my insane travel schedule, I was given only two weekends (read: 4 DAYS) to complete all of the outside work plus all of the nitty-gritty inside work.  I am so proud that I was able to do all of the outside work without any help. I nearly had too much pride to ask for help with the inside work, but I sucked it up and asked. My brother came by with his roommate to move some of the heavy things into the garage while I was out of town. My in-laws let me borrow their carpet cleaner and my mother-in-law came by all of Saturday to help scrub the bathrooms, clean the windows, wipe the baseboards, cabinets, appliances, dust, mop and zillions of other things.

I am so proud of how the house looks and I am determined to keep it perfectly clean (nearly sterile) while it is on the market. Photos for your enjoyment.

In addition to getting out home ready for sale, I may or may not have jumped quite a bit ahead and put an offer on a house in the new city. Crazy? Yes. But, it is a beautiful home, in the location we want, in a quiet, secluded neighborhood but close to everything we need (like for me, the airport). I am already so attached and planning what colors I am going to paint the different rooms and how I am going to re-do the shower tiles. We have been offering/counter -offering with the bank for a week now, I am hopeful that we have finally reached the point of agreement. The best part you ask, (other than it being a beautiful home with room to grow, making me want to fill it with children) is that the bank wants to push closing off until the middle of May, giving us a little more time to try to sell our home.

The bad news in my life, since there is always some…I found out my BIL’s wife is pregnant again. Now, don’t get me wrong. I am not a bitter infertile wishing infertility on the world. I thank God for babies; knowing each and every child is a blessing. That being said, this is his 4^th oops child, the third with this wife, ANNDDD it is after he supposedly had a vasectomy.  It was news that brought me to my knees sobbing and cursing God for blessing them with a child they don’t want and cannot afford.

Checking Off My List

I've been home for three days in the last month. In the last three days I have met with a realtor to list our Condo and another to list our house. I packed up Mr.As office clutter, vacuumed the entire house, wiped down baseboards, dusted all the furniture. I dug up a "dead" tree (once I cut it into 4foot sections, I realized it wasn't dead), planted a weeping cherry in it's place, dug up a dead holly bush, planted a new one in it's place, pruned bushes, weeded, planted more than 20 pansies, dug up our Japanese maple to bring with us, stained the fence, mulched, put down more grass seed; all by myself. I did laundry, made an hour long briefing for this week, made travel arrangements for the next few weeks, packed, and went to the library. I still hope to mop, get my nails done, take my dog for a walk, and clean the windows.

Next weekend, I am actually listing the house for sale. So I need to move the old washer and dryer from their temporary storage in the dining room to the garage, paint the ceiling in the garage, and clean clean clean. Wow, I am exhausted just thinking about it.